Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Upcoming show, new calendar, and a nomination

I've tested positive for COVID-19.  It was right after I developed cold symptoms (no fever) after attending the Winter Dew Tour.  The trip was booked long before the Omicron variant started to rapidly affect the country, and I thought being vaccinated and twice-boosted made me safe.  Also, save for one party in a large space where I was mostly a wallflower, I was mostly outside.  All of this is making me reconsider my return to the live stage next year.  Right now I'm extending my live show hiatus through March 2022.

I would highly urge anyone to reconsider going out on New Year's Eve.  Omicron cases are growing exponentially, and even though I've felt mostly okay, that's not the case for others.  Plus Papi Churro is putting together a live variety show featuring performers who are also opting to stay in and/or have digital numbers that they want to share.  Streaming on Twitch.tv/papijinxy starts at 8 PM CST, and it's a $10 suggested donation but pay/tip what you can.

As we near the end of the year, I wonder how many of y'all have a calendar.  If you've put it off or would just some gorgeous photography on your wall while also supporting me, I would like to direct you to La Photographie's 2022 charity calendar.  I have been voted to be Mx. December so this is your chance to own a high-res, physical copy of one of my photos from a shoot I did in Tennessee.  The charity chosen is The Trevor Project so you're supporting a very important cause while getting something pretty.


Lastly, my elder child, Tsar William, is up for a White Elephant Burlesque Silver Tusk Award: Best Supporting Pet.  Go to the WEBurlesque's page, enter your email, and vote for Willy (doing his best sexy pose).  You have until January 2.

Willy loves making appearances on camera.

Monday, December 13, 2021

Don't miss out on these shows!

 Were you busy on my show dates but still want to see some of my new acts?   Well you're in luck.  You can get my latest appearance, Cosplay Burlesque's CPB-eyond the Screen End of the Year, Best of Spectacular delivered to your inbox (with bonus content!).  Click here to get tickets .  You have until December 26.


You can also purchase re-watch tickets for WildeMay Productions' K-Pop That Pastie: Frost Fest, also available until December 26.  Let me entice you with a peek of what you might see:

 If you want more of that, follow this link for tickets.  It's just $5!

Lastly, Taste the Tease is ending sales for all their show recording on December 31 so if you've missed my all-Texas based AAPI performer showcase, Forbidden City of the South, or the other shows I've done with them (Crotchless Shanties and Out and About), this will be your FINAL CHANCE.  Click here to purchase access to the shows before it's too late!

A rare Tony Fo-Hawk appearance in
Taste the Tease's Forbidden City of the South

Saturday, December 4, 2021

Upcoming shows: WildeMay Productions and Cosplay Burlesque

December is my birth month, and what better way to celebrate than with a couple of shows?  The first is the final K-Pop That Pastie from WildeMay Productions.  It's tomorrow (Saturday) night at 7 PM CST.  You can still snag some last minute tickets up to an hour before show time so click the link here.

If you want something even nerdier, join me next week on December 11 at for Cosplay Burlesque's CPB-eyond the Screen End of the Year, Best of Spectacular.  I'll be bringing back my tribute to Kanna from InuyashaClick here for tickets.

One last thing, if you're gonna be at Anime Frontier tomorrow, keep an eye out for a hat-less Tuxedo Mask and say "hi".

Thursday, December 2, 2021

Remembering Those We Lost

"Thinking of the day,
When you went away
What a life to take,
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you." - "I'll Be Missing You" by P. Diddy feat. 112 and Faith Evans

I’ve resisted writing this post for several months.  It never seemed like the right time, and honestly, I’ve struggled to process all the loss that happened over the summer.  Three beloved members of the Dallas burlesque and drag scene left us, and I had the unexpected death of my grandfather on top of that.  Only one was related to COVID-19 so I couldn’t direct my emotions at the pandemic (even though it was upsetting to not be able to go to any services).  I do want to pay homage to them, and as we approach the anniversary of two wonderful performers, I hope whatever is beyond this mortal realm that there’s a stage and lots of glitter.

Rudy Garland had always been a supporter to Tuesday Tease, as well as other queerlesque productions, and he made his stage debut in the beginning of 2020, one of the last shows I did before quarantine.  As he had mentioned being on the aromantic spectrum, I asked him if he wanted to be a part of a Tease dedicated to aromanticism and basically all other forms of non-romantic love.  His act was beautiful and heartfelt.  Even though his new performance career had to go on pause, Rudy was upbeat about other aspects of his life.  Some unexpected circumstances led to his departure, and I’m sad we didn’t have more time together.  However, I will cherish the memories we did make and the representation and heart he brought to Tuesday Tease.

Tease with Benefits: an Aromantic Affair
cast and crew.  Photo by Jessie C.
 

Joe Rekhart wasn’t a performer, but he was a dedicated fan of burlesque and even a producer at one point.  He drove Fuego Danza Company to the San Antonio Burlesque Festival, and our last conversation actually shed some insight behind the troupe dissolving and an uncomfortable trip back from the festival.  I’m glad I got that peace, and I’m only sorry I didn’t realize his support was genuine much sooner (experience has taught me to be wary of possible ulterior motives some fans may have).  He offered companionship and assistance to many performers, and Joe’s loss is felt every day.

Viva Dallas Burlesque: Festivus Follies 2019
Photo by Nico
 

I only knew Fantasha Suggs from helping out with a Tease she performed in.  I’m not even sure we really spoke, but she was stunning on-stage.  She brought so much energy, embodying Tina Turner and Whitney Houston.  It was obvious why she was a star in the Dallas drag scene.  Dallas Voice wrote a great tribute to her.

It’s been a rough year for many of us, and I know other communities have experienced loss too.  Plus our time with burlesque legends is always precious.  My place as a burlesque and drag performer remains uncertain; it’s making me keep my distance.  However, I want to cherish the time I do share with my fellow performers because regardless of how our relationships are defined off-stage, we do have a connection in sharing the spotlight and the realm behind the curtain.  That's what sticks when someone is gone.

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Upcoming shows: WildeMay Productions and Taste the Tease

 TONIGHT, WildeMay Productions gets in the Halloween spirit with K-Pop That Pastie: Spooky Scary edition!  I wound up throwing it back to the early 00s and coming up with a tribute to the "nihility demon" of Inuyasha, Kanna.  You can still get last minute tickets (or a link to the recording if you're busy). Show starts 7 PM CDT.


 The next week, I make my return to Taste the Tease with their queer celebration, Out and About.  Show is Friday, October 29 at 9 PM CDT.  It's part of their Queerst-mas weekend that also includes two previous shows.  Click the link to get your ticket or the weekend pass (as well as access to the recording Forbidden City of the South). 




Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Upcoming show: Taste the Tease

This show is a big one for me.  I've been wanting to do a production featuring all AAPI Texans, and Taste the Tease's CommuniTEASE Matters program has given me the opportunity in the virtual space.  This Friday at 9 PM CDT, enter the Forbidden City of the South!


As you can see, it's also Tony Fo-Hawk's first time hosting.  Click here for tickets.  The pre-sale price of $10 ends on Friday!  Video is available for anyone who purchases a ticket.

There's also a raffle featuring items from AAPI businesses and artists: Aerobicide by Terry Parr, hibiscus sei from Lindah's Creations, gift card to Bobaddiction, and embroidered tote by Cher Musico.  Entries are unlimited so buy as many as you want!




Saturday, August 28, 2021

Upcoming show: Fox-Trot Cabaret

 Tomorrow night at 8 PM CDT, join me in celebrating Danny Fox-Trot in his geektastic birthday show!  Tickets are a minimum $5 donation to one of the following (with a note of "Getting Nerdy" and the email you'd like to get the Zoom link):
Venmo - @ dannyfoxtrot
Cashapp - $dannyfoxtrot
Paypal.me/dannyfoxtrot

Also because I was caught up in watching the Olympics, I forgot to share the flyer for Taste the Tease's Crotchless Shanties show, where I debut a new act.  Lucky for you, you can buy the recording over on their site: click here .  I'm including the flyer so you can see who else was part of the really fun show!




Tuesday, July 13, 2021

Upcoming show: Wilde May Productions

 Wilde May Productions is back with another K-Pop That Pastie show in celebration of Esmerelda May's birthday!  I've filmed my most personal routine to date, and it's the most cinematic of my virtual burlesque acts so you don't want to miss this show. 

Click here for tickets.  It's $10 for the livestream on Zoom and $5 for the replay only.



Sunday, June 27, 2021

Exposing and Exiting Dallas Burlesque

 “Every incident chips away at your limit. Every time you choose to stay, it makes the next time that much harder to leave. Eventually, you lose sight of your limit altogether, because you start to think, ‘I’ve lasted five years now. What’s five more?’” - Lily Bloom, It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

This post has been a long time coming, and yet I've tried so hard to avoid writing it.  I tried to talk about the issues of the Dallas burlesque scene in general terms.  Then I mentioned specifics while framing them as apologies to Black performers who have definitely experienced more shit than I have.  That post comes across performative although at the time, it was the only way I could expose some of the problematic behavior in our scene.  I was afraid of being blacklisted for doing so because that does happen.  However, I'm done staying quiet and being complicit.  I'm done enduring; and therefore I will be taking an indefinite pause from live shows, especially in the North Texas area, and resigning as a co-producer of Tuesday Tease.

What sparked all of this was Emma D'Lemma's post about abusive behavior relating to some of the production team of Viva Dallas Burlesque.  Their life was in danger, and that is unacceptable.  Moreover, I cannot condone their defense of a VIP who has sexually harassed performers.  An argument was made that this was a misunderstanding, but after learning of multiple predators in the cosplay and steampunk scenes (some of whom have done horrible things), I can't accept a "both sides" argument when there are multiple allegations.  I'll talk more about Viva Dallas Burlesque later, but we have to go back to the start of my career to understand how long and far-reaching some of the problems in our scene are.

When I started as a stage kitten with the Dallas Burlesque Festival and Ruby Revue, I had no idea that I should have been paid for the job.  There has been a lot of revelations of unprofessional business practices and mistreatment of performers and crew in Mr. Liqueur's Facebook post.  I never questioned the lack of consistent pay for stage kittens because one of the producers implied that it was a huge "honor" to be in an elite production.  Little did I know that I was being gaslit, but I soon picked up on my lack of value to the troupe.  Despite having auditioned and formally assigned a role, I soon found myself replaced by taller, thinner, and frequently white women who had closer relationships with the producers (although one did reveal to me that the closeness led to more manipulation and abuse).

The manipulative behavior of producers and cliquish nature of troupes would follow me through Fuego Danza Company, Dallas School of Burlesque Cats, and as a soloist.  I participated in the gossip and snide comments to try to fit in.  Once I silently endured a pulled hamstring due to the pressure to win an award at the San Antonio Burlesque Festival, and the subsequent bad sportsmanship from some Fuego troupemates led to me to blame myself for our loss, as I had made a mistake in our performance.  I'd seen how people were quickly kicked out a troupe (especially Fuego) or ostracized from parts of the North Texas burlesque scene.  I just wanted to dance, and unfortunately I condoned and participated in some harmful behavior to do so.

RuRu DuBois has spoken out about her mistreatment while in the Dallas School of Burlesque Cats.  I don't have much to say about my time in that troupe because once again, I was shut out of opportunities after a couple of scheduling conflicts.  It cannot be mere coincidence that RuRu and I, along with other POC, experienced enough issues with the troupe that we left while our white counterparts got more opportunities.

After I quit the Cats and Fuego basically dissolved itself, I worked my hardest to get my name out in as many local shows that would accept a nerdy, often-androgynous performer.  I was also learned the ropes of producing as a member of the Tuesday Tease production team.  Tease will forever remain close to my heart, but I started developing stress related to criticisms I'd hear about lack of diversity, the need for trigger warnings, and problematic members of the cast and crew.  I tried to remain neutral and have issues addressed.  However, it was an uphill battle, as more people were labeled "problematic" without the opportunity to make amends and some of the producers didn't bother to read submissions or reply to performers who were trying to get into the scene.

At the shows, I was having some communication issues with cast and crew, as my authority as producer wasn't always acknowledged and respected.  I kept my struggles hidden because I wanted so badly for Tease to still be the place that was welcoming of all identities, performance styles, and experiences.  I could at least try for my own shows although the increasing number of people added to our black list was making it difficult.

 There was a more selfish reason to stay silent about issues: I didn't want to lose the few performance opportunities presented to me.  Despite my efforts to cast a wide net, I only found myself booked in queerlesque shows, Dallas Burlesque Festival (pre-boycott), and Viva Dallas Burlesque.  In addition to Emma's post, Courtney Crave, Kimber Fox, Lily Liqueur, Miss Malicious, and Black Mariah have spoken about threats and verbal abuse.  As I read everyone's accounts, I knew I could not brush aside stories I'd heard as "personal grudges" or "one side of a story".  I also knew I had to speak up about an issue I've had with the show: the all-white casts, particularly the nerdlesque ones.

 Being a nerd of color is already hard.  When POC nerdlesque dancers get shut out, we have a problem.  I knew that POC anger can be used against us so I never spoke up.  However, other performers did, and I learned that they were met with the excuse of  "There were no POC submissions" or "No POC were available".  That is a LIE.  I have submitted many a nerdlesque act to Viva Dallas Burlesque, and I know I can't be forgettable if one of the producer sees me as the "only" Asian burlesque dancer in Dallas (an actual statement made to me and very untrue).   It calls into question the times I was hired, particularly the last show where my name was brought up for the Star Wards show, which remained all-white despite Lily dropping out in protest, and getting my Crazy Rich Asians act booked the next month.  I feel like a diversity hire.

 Worst of all is that I have heard the same excuses when confronting the issue of lack of diversity in Tuesday Tease (and by lack of diversity, I don't just mean lack of different identities but literally the same handful of POC being cast).  I know it can be hard for a weekday show in a bar that often has a super niche theme, but the onus is on the producer to look harder.  I admit that I could have done better in my shows and in pushing for it in the other Teases.  I could have spoken up about issues relating to accusations of favoritism and feelings of exclusion in our queer community, particularly when expressed by POC and trans folks.  My silence is complicity, and even worse, I occasionally lied to protect the show, cast and crew, and venue.  The cost at times was the pain of others, and I apologize for being a part of this problem of exclusion and abuse of power.

 I don't think this is just a problem in North Texas.  I've come across suspicious excuses or silence after seemingly scoring out-of-town opportunities.  Maybe I wasn't what they were looking for, but I no longer want to entertain conspiracy theories or excuses for bad behavior.  I'm cutting my ties from a scene whose support of me seemed mainly superficial.  At the same time, I don't want abusers to continue taking advantage of people, and that's why I'm sharing common examples of manipulation and will gives more specifics to anyone who asks.  I don't want another person to experience the amount of stress, frustration, tokenization, and loneliness that I internalized.

There is a world of virtual shows that has put me in touch with genuinely kind producers and with shows that include marginalized voices and the nerdiest of acts.  That’s where you can find me.  I know the Dallas burlesque scene loved the nerdy, awkward femme who was "Black Glasses" Hana from seven years ago.  I haven't been that performer in a while so I suppose this is a good time to walk away and focus on my mental health and performance quality that has suffered from all the stress.  I only hope that when I come back to doing in-person shows locally, the scene will become healthier and more supportive of ALL performers.

Saturday, June 5, 2021

Upcoming shows: Viva Dallas Burlesque and Fierce!

 I promise I'll get back to actual blog posts, but I've been busy with some new duties in lab and my first LIVE show in over a year!  Yes, you heard it right.  I'm returning to the stage TONIGHT with Viva Dallas Burlesque's Dirty Sexy Funny show.  Tickets are still available at the door, and they're keeping things safe by maitaining social distancing and masking requirements.  So if you're free tonight and in town, get on over to see a revamped version of my Crazy Rich Asians act!

 If you're not free or in Dallas, I still have plans to submit to virtual shows as long as the opportunities come up.  Tony Fo-Hawk is making his return to performing (he's been having a chill 2021 so far) with the Fierce! Queer Performance Arts Festival.  He's specifically appearing in the July 18 POC showcase, but the virtual festival takes place all month, every Saturday so go to their website for both tickets and additional show info.  All the line-ups are amazing, and I'm so excited that Tony is a part of this.  I might make a cameo too. ^_~




Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Upcoming shows: Boiz of Austin and ACEstravaganza

If you missed out on my New Media act, you have a chance to catch it (or a PG-13) version of it in Boiz of Austin's J-Pop vs. K-Pop vs. Death Metal showdown!  Tune in tomorrow (Tuesday) night at 8 PM CDT at Twitch.tv/PapiJinxy .

Later this month, on May 21, I will be in the ACEstravanga Burlesque Festival, a showcase of performers on asexual-spectrum.  I'm super stoked for this and really appreciate the work Monet Ha'Sidi has put in to make this happen.  Tickets are on sale for $15 at paypal.me/blackartsmatter or Venmo @Monet-Ha-Sidi .  You can also get merch featuring the super cute pin-up cake mascot on Redbubble



Saturday, April 17, 2021

Upcoming shows: Wilde May Productions and Nerd Girl Burlesque

Wilde May Productions is back with another K-Pop That Pastie, but this time, we're putting a nerdlesque spin.  The show is April 24 at 8 PM Eastern Daylight Time.  A Zoom link will be given with the purchase of a ticket.  You can also purchase a record if there's a schedule conflict.  Click on this link to get your ticket now!


Then in May, I will be doing my first international show with Nerd Girl Burlesque!  It's a virtual show, but I'm excited to join Canada's premiere nerdlesque production in Level Up! An Online Video Game Cabaret on May 8, 7 PM EDT.  If you're hyped about the new Mortal Kombat movie, you don't wanna miss my number.  Click here for tickets.


 Check out this super cute ad that Helen of Tronna made for the show.  She designed sprites for the entire cast:


Friday, March 19, 2021

Upcoming show: Theoretical Rejects

 Technically this is a show that's already been playing, and just in the chaos of the past month, I neglected to make a post.  You've got a couple more days to get the link to view Theoretical Rejects' Escape from Arkham show.  We pay tribute to some of your favorite Batman villains.  Send at least $5 to theoreticalrejects@gmail.com on Paypal, and they'll send you the link.  

 In response to the deadly attack in Atlana on predeominantly Asian women, I will be donating my portion of the earnings, including tips, to Red Canary Song, an organization supporting migrant and Asian sex workers in New York City (and families impacted by this act of terrorism).



Tuesday, March 9, 2021

A Rare Orchid Blooms on Earth No More

Three months has passed since I got the horrible news, and I'm still trying to process it.  The morning after I had reached out to Black Orchid to get some advice and maybe a coaching session for my first pole competition, I learned that she died in an accident while walking to her pole studio.  The timing, plus the fact that I had a close call walking home from work the same day, rattled me.  I'm not completely sure I've shaken it off.

Black Orchid and I first crossed paths when I did the San Antonio Burlesque Festival in 2014.  Being a newbie, I was overwhelmed, but I think Orchid and I felt a mutual kinship as two Asians performers in Texas.  Later I'd learn that she was also queer, nerdy, an activist, a writer, and a fellow bus rider (very uncommon in Texas).  We had our differences too, and as a Singaporean of Indian descent, Orchid helped broadened my views on the Asian experience beyond my narrow East Asian perspective.

Post-show selfie of two winter queens
(she portrayed Skaid while I was Elsa)
After crossing paths through the years at SABF and the Texas Queerlesque Festival, we shared the stage at the end of 2019 in Viva Dallas Burlesque's Festivus Follies.  We were in different dressing rooms, but we made sure to take a selfie, something that I had been trying to do more often.  I didn't get a good pic on my phone, but she did on hers and I'm grateful that we had the moment together and that I did traverse to the other side of the stage to talk to her.  I'm also grateful that social media kept us in touch.

Orchid wasn't afraid to speak up about political and social issues, but she also knew how to pick her battles.  One of the things I miss the most is her posts about current issues and the frequent "angry possum scream" that appeared in the caption.  I often wonder about the things she'd say with what has happened in 2021.  There would definitely be a lot of screaming, but I know she'd be rejoicing over an Indian woman as our VP.

I also contemplate what she might say to me as I continue to pursue pole dancing.  When I contemplated the idea of entering a Pole Sport Organization competition with doubts about my readiness, she was one of the pole dancers who encouraged me to give it a shot.  I regret not reaching out to her sooner—it's one of many regrets— but I know her spirit will be rooting me on, as she has always done in life.  One day I'd like to create a tribute act on the pole, but in the meantime, I'll keep learning and practicing.


Black Orchid won Most Original
at the 2015 San Antonio Burlesque Festival.
Photo by JPL PRO
 
One of the last performances of Black Orchid's I saw was a virtual nerdlesque show that paid homage to Supernatural.  She portrayed Billie, a grim reaper, and now that number lingers in my mind.  Death is forever around us, and who knows when our time will come so we have to do as much as we can.  That's what Orchid did, and she inspired so many of us.  Now it's up to us to make sure the seeds of art and activism she sowed will grow and flourish.