I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone else's ignorance. - bell hooksI have a lot of nightmare burlesque scenarios, being the anxious person that I am. However, none of my worrying could prepare me to last Tuesday night. I had joked that the second worst thing about the end of election season was that I could no longer enjoy my current favorite podcast, Politically Reactive—the worst being that we'd have to deal with the reality of Donald Trump being elected President.
As far-fetched as the idea seemed to me and many others, the possibility lingered in the backs of our minds. That was how my cast, my crew, and I came to Sue Ellen's for the PokGAYmon show. We wanted to provide a temporary escape, as well as an opportunity for celebration. We teased the idea of drinking our sorrows away in case Hillary Clinton lost. The atmosphere was somber upon arrival, and the Tease Team quickly formed a game plan for various scenarios.
In the end, we could not have the show. Too many people in the crowd were on edge from the news. This impacted all of us, as members of the queer community. There were a lot of tears, a lot of questions, a lot of rage. Although I knew canceling the show was the only option, I was upset at not being able to provide people hope and solace. I had already gone home by the time Hillary officially conceded, and I could hardly sleep with the gears that were turning in my head. Anger has always been a source of motivation.
It was hard to focus on my upcoming performances at Steampunk November and the next Tuesday Tease. I went to a protest (not my first) to show that I am more than just angry social media posts and to show those of my friends who are too scared by the hate that has been riled up. It required a lot of physical and mental strength, especially since we had eggs, barbecue sauce, and wine thrown at us (not me but I heard the aftermath). As a result, I haven't been as on top of things as I should be. It's been hard to just go on, but sometimes that is the best way to take a stand.
On the train ride to the protest, I realized that the act Tony Fo-Hawk had booked would not be suitable for the current mood. Immediately, Tony came up with a new number, inspired by American Idiot. It encompasses all the rage at the bigotry that we have let slide through the years and is now in the open, the problems of the electoral college system, the attempts at politicians for trying to control the bodies and lives of marginalized individuals, and the idea that I, a queer Asian burlesque dancer, ought to shut my mouth and look pretty.
Tomorrow (or technically today), you can join Tony in expressing your anger at Tuesday Tease. I will still be doing the same act I had planned, which I think is pretty relevant to. It was inspired by a personal battle against misogynistic views about feminine beauty. I still need to write about when I debuted it at Glitterbomb, and I'm excited for Tease to experience it to. People might think that I'm out of fucks to give, but I have all the fucks to give. Because I will not let my friends' struggles be ignored and I will not be silenced.