Honoring CoCo Lee with My Original Kaylee Act

 CoCo Lee in #Legend (2015)
By Wei Lai

I was incredibly shocked and saddened to hear about singer CoCo Lee's passing. You might know her for "A Love Before Time", the theme to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.  She became the first Chinese-American performer at the Oscars.  She was also the first Chinese singer to have a Billboard hit in the U.S. although her success was mostly in dance music and not mainstream even though she sang in English (in addition to Mandarin and Cantonese).  CoCo provided the Mandarin language voice for Mulan and sang Mandarin and English versions of "Reflection".

I used the latter for my "Original Kaylee" act because CoCo could have been the main singer of "Reflection", but Disney went instead with a non-Asian singer (I am glad Lea Salonga sang the movie version but she also was passed up for the single).   If you haven't read my previous post about "Original Kaylee", I created the act for Evil League of Ecdysiast's Wronged by Whedon show. I wanted to address the fact that despite being set in a future where American and Chinese cultures are prevalent to where people speak Mandarin phrases, Firefly had zero Asian actors in the main cast. Even worse, Kaylee Frye was intended to be Asian before Joss Whedon decided to cast Jewel Staite. As someone who loved Firefly, I created the act to reclaim the role and address the issue of cultural appropriation that remains present in burlesque and other art forms.

CoCo Lee was the first Asian pop star I encountered.  Before her, I knew Lea Salonga sang some Disney songs and James Iha was part of Smashing Pumpkins, which I wasn't a fan of until later in my teens. That was all the representation I saw as a pop-obsessed preteen so discovering not only CoCo but a whole industry of musical artists who looked like me was life-changing.  I'm glad Asian pop music is finally getting recognized by mainstream American audiences and that we are seeing more Asian-American stars.  CoCo helped break down some of those barriers, and I'm forever grateful.

I'm sharing a video of my performance in Spicy Hotpot Arts' all-AANHPI (Asian-American, Native Hawaiian, Pacific Islander) showcase, Slaysian Fusion.  There are actually many AANHPI burlesque and variety performers.  My showcase, Forbidden City of the South, showed how many are in Texas, but we still get left out of the conversation on representation and diversity sometimes.  I was super appreciative that Flux Inqueerior opened their production to performers from all over so I decided to apply and travel out to Georgia when I was cast.  The show was an affirming experience, and I hope producers, publications (looking at you Retro Lovely), and fans continue to see the importance of representation. 

Thanks to Di' Lovely's work in acknowledging
AANHPI achievements in burlesque,
I made it into the Burlesque Hall of Fame!

I just want to end by acknowledging CoCo's battle with mental health because it isn't something that gets talked a lot about in Chinese culture. Add to that the pressures of maintaining a positive image as a celebrity, and it can be overwhelming. It's something I've struggled with too. If you're having a hard time, know that there are places to find help. Reaching out is hard, but there are people who will listen and want you around.

Saying Goodbye to the Sweetest Lady

As I said on Facebook when I heard the news, I’m tired of making these tribute posts.  However, we’re all mortal, and once again, I’m reminded that we can all leave this realm at any time. A little over a month ago, I discovered that artist Theresa Mangum, who had performed burlesque as Sweet T, suddenly passed away.

I met Sweet T when I had begun to dip my toe into the world of burlesque.  She often worked the front desk of the Ruby Room, and I remember getting tips on where to find fishnet stockings as I started kittening.  Her partner Jes taught me how to sell merch during my first gig at the 2013 Dallas Burlesque Festival.  Although more people now know about the issues with Ruby Revue, I was pretty ignorant back then and once awkwardly asked T about whether she would be at a show.  She was very polite, and true to her name, her sweetness was known throughout the community.  In fact, she was voted “Sweetest Lady of Burlesque” in multiple Dallas Burlesque Festivals.

I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with
Sweet T at the 2014 Dallas Burlesque Festival.
Photo by Karlo X Ramos

 

On-stage, T was known for her graceful performances and flexibility.  It translated from classic burlesque to rock ‘n’ roll (and go-go dancing) to even a bit of nerdlesque.  One of my favorite acts of her was a Big Eyes-inspired number for Burton Burlesque, as we got to the artist come out too.   I took a few flexibility classes with her too, and I always appreciated how she made it accessible for everyone.

Although more recent years saw T focus on her visual art career, she always maintained connections with the Dallas burlesque scene.  I wasn’t too close with her, but I saw that she was friends with many of my fellow performers and I enjoyed following her social media posts about assorted art projects.  She was such a talented individual, and the Dallas creative world will deeply miss her.

If you would like to help Jes with end-of-life costs, please check out this GoFundMe.

A Glittery Unicorn Gone

Life is short.  It's a cliché thing to say, but I've lost enough friends to know that it's true.  I recently was reminded of this, as I got the unexpected, heart-breaking news that another wonderful burlesque has left us too soon.

I met Bre von Buxom early in my burlesque career.  She came to Dallas from Texarkana with Puss Powerbottom and Spyke Styletto, who was performing in Texas Burlesque Peepshow's first-ever show, Oh Rocky.  I was stage kittening and happened to share a dressing room with them.  Bre was Spyke's burlesque mom, and I remember her giving advice on pasties and backstage jitters.  She also helped some of my peers get a taste of performing out-of-town with her show in Texarkana.  I wasn't able travel back then, but I appreciated that she made a space for us newbies. 

I don't have any pictures of us together, but I'm happy she came out for Texas Burlesque Peepshow's Spectacular Burlesque! which I was in.  We had some good times at the after-party too.

 Although I never got to see her perform, she was a familiar face at shows in Dallas, and she also supported the Arkansas scene.  I never felt awkward when she was around.  On top of being caring and fun-loving, Bre was unapologetically queer, sex-positive, and nerdy.

I hadn't seen in a while, and her death is such a shock to all of us.  We'll never forget her lively spirit, and I hope she's having a blast, dancing away, wherever she is now.

Photo by Stand Up Photography

Remembering Those We Lost

"Thinking of the day,
When you went away
What a life to take,
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you." - "I'll Be Missing You" by P. Diddy feat. 112 and Faith Evans

I’ve resisted writing this post for several months.  It never seemed like the right time, and honestly, I’ve struggled to process all the loss that happened over the summer.  Three beloved members of the Dallas burlesque and drag scene left us, and I had the unexpected death of my grandfather on top of that.  Only one was related to COVID-19 so I couldn’t direct my emotions at the pandemic (even though it was upsetting to not be able to go to any services).  I do want to pay homage to them, and as we approach the anniversary of two wonderful performers, I hope whatever is beyond this mortal realm that there’s a stage and lots of glitter.

Rudy Garland had always been a supporter to Tuesday Tease, as well as other queerlesque productions, and he made his stage debut in the beginning of 2020, one of the last shows I did before quarantine.  As he had mentioned being on the aromantic spectrum, I asked him if he wanted to be a part of a Tease dedicated to aromanticism and basically all other forms of non-romantic love.  His act was beautiful and heartfelt.  Even though his new performance career had to go on pause, Rudy was upbeat about other aspects of his life.  Some unexpected circumstances led to his departure, and I’m sad we didn’t have more time together.  However, I will cherish the memories we did make and the representation and heart he brought to Tuesday Tease.

Tease with Benefits: an Aromantic Affair
cast and crew.  Photo by Jessie C.

 

Joe Rekhart wasn’t a performer, but he was a dedicated fan of burlesque and even a producer at one point.  He drove Fuego Danza Company to the San Antonio Burlesque Festival, and our last conversation actually shed some insight behind the troupe dissolving and an uncomfortable trip back from the festival.  I’m glad I got that peace, and I’m only sorry I didn’t realize his support was genuine much sooner (experience has taught me to be wary of possible ulterior motives some fans may have).  He offered companionship and assistance to many performers, and Joe’s loss is felt every day.

Viva Dallas Burlesque: Festivus Follies 2019
Photo by Nico

 

I only knew Fantasha Suggs from helping out with a Tease she performed in.  I’m not even sure we really spoke, but she was stunning on-stage.  She brought so much energy, embodying Tina Turner and Whitney Houston.  It was obvious why she was a star in the Dallas drag scene.  Dallas Voice wrote a great tribute to her.

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A post shared by Hana Li (@hanaliburlesque)

It’s been a rough year for many of us, and I know other communities have experienced loss too.  Plus our time with burlesque legends is always precious.  My place as a burlesque and drag performer remains uncertain; it’s making me keep my distance.  However, I want to cherish the time I do share with my fellow performers because regardless of how our relationships are defined off-stage, we do have a connection in sharing the spotlight and the realm behind the curtain.  That's what sticks when someone is gone.

A Rare Orchid Blooms on Earth No More

Three months has passed since I got the horrible news, and I'm still trying to process it.  The morning after I had reached out to Black Orchid to get some advice and maybe a coaching session for my first pole competition, I learned that she died in an accident while walking to her pole studio.  The timing, plus the fact that I had a close call walking home from work the same day, rattled me.  I'm not completely sure I've shaken it off.

Black Orchid and I first crossed paths when I did the San Antonio Burlesque Festival in 2014.  Being a newbie, I was overwhelmed, but I think Orchid and I felt a mutual kinship as two Asians performers in Texas.  Later I'd learn that she was also queer, nerdy, an activist, a writer, and a fellow bus rider (very uncommon in Texas).  We had our differences too, and as a Singaporean of Indian descent, Orchid helped broadened my views on the Asian experience beyond my narrow East Asian perspective.

Post-show selfie of two winter queens
(she portrayed Skaid while I was Elsa)

After crossing paths through the years at SABF and the Texas Queerlesque Festival, we shared the stage at the end of 2019 in Viva Dallas Burlesque's Festivus Follies.  We were in different dressing rooms, but we made sure to take a selfie, something that I had been trying to do more often.  I didn't get a good pic on my phone, but she did on hers and I'm grateful that we had the moment together and that I did traverse to the other side of the stage to talk to her.  I'm also grateful that social media kept us in touch.

Orchid wasn't afraid to speak up about political and social issues, but she also knew how to pick her battles.  One of the things I miss the most is her posts about current issues and the frequent "angry possum scream" that appeared in the caption.  I often wonder about the things she'd say with what has happened in 2021.  There would definitely be a lot of screaming, but I know she'd be rejoicing over an Indian woman as our VP.

I also contemplate what she might say to me as I continue to pursue pole dancing.  When I contemplated the idea of entering a Pole Sport Organization competition with doubts about my readiness, she was one of the pole dancers who encouraged me to give it a shot.  I regret not reaching out to her sooner—it's one of many regrets— but I know her spirit will be rooting me on, as she has always done in life.  One day I'd like to create a tribute act on the pole, but in the meantime, I'll keep learning and practicing.

Black Orchid won Most Original
at the 2015 San Antonio Burlesque Festival.
Photo by JPL PRO

 

One of the last performances of Black Orchid's I saw was a virtual nerdlesque show that paid homage to Supernatural.  She portrayed Billie, a grim reaper, and now that number lingers in my mind.  Death is forever around us, and who knows when our time will come so we have to do as much as we can.  That's what Orchid did, and she inspired so many of us.  Now it's up to us to make sure the seeds of art and activism she sowed will grow and flourish.

 

Our Pineapple Princess Gone Too Soon

As you might have noticed, I got into a funk with my writing.  A couple weeks ago, I was ready to return with a post, ironically, about timing, and then I got the news.  2017 was already filled with tragedy for both me personally and the queerlesque community, and it had to deliver one last blow on the final day.  The beautiful, sparkling Pineapple of Burlesque, Jette Blaque, had died that morning.

Jette was a frequent performer on the Dallas and Denton queerlesque stages.  Her mentor was my teacher for when I got started at the Academy of Queerlesque, and we first crossed paths at during my second solo performance.  We'd see more of each other as the Sue Ellen's stage became a home for us, and I became familiar her shining presence.  She was full of laughter and joy backstage, and on-stage she could deliver so much attitude.

Panty Raid: Bare Necessities - our 2nd show together
Photo by Kevin Huckabee

We also had the pleasure of working for each other.  I loved having Jette for Tuesday Tease—she was a consummate professional yet a total goofball.  During one of the POC Teases, she became instant friends with the queens I had booked, as they went ga-ga over handsome men and quoted Empire.  It was a riot!  She had also booked me for her POC show at Glitterbomb, and I was so honored to be a part of that experience. 

The last time I saw her was when we were performing for our friend Mina Panamour's surprise birthday party.  Jette was not only going to do a cake sit, but she also planned to stick googly eyes on her butt and twerk during intermission.  Since I was going from Hana to Tony, I had to miss that, but the cake sit was epic!

Dirty 30: Mina's birthday show
Contagious Fantasies Photography

In addition to being a lot of fun, Jette was so kind and generous.  She had organized a surprise Christmas gift basket for the Glitterbomb producers and our dear friends, Lillith Grey and Milo Cox.  It was a great idea, and all of us queerlesquers worked hard to find the perfect items to contribute.  Since I had a Shutterfly account, I made a calendar, and Jette's excitement upon receiving it seemed as though she were the intended recipient.  She and I had also made plans for her to come to my place to give me and The Companion haircuts for a great price.  Previously she had talked about trying to provide cuts for queer clientele who may have faced discrimination or not gotten the cut they had wanted.  Having dealt with microaggressions relating to my hair, I thought the idea was wonderful.

Pineapples were her favorite thing.
Artwork by Jo Moulton

Jette didn't let her health slow her down, and even though she had her struggles, she always had a smile when I saw her.  I didn't know her as well as some other performers, but she still invited me to her and Nate Jones' wedding, which was so sweet and beautiful, and I was planning to get to know her better when she made her house call.  She has taught me to not let misfortunes bring me down, to take more selfies, and to be more like the regal pineapple she was.  Jette Blaque, we miss you so much, but your sparkle will remain with us forever.

(The title of this post was partly inspired by a poem by her maternal grandmother Daisy Kincheloe, "Gone Too Soon".)

Tribute to a fallen queen

Glitterbomb: It's Called Pride Motherfuckers
Photo by Maddy Waltz

We only got to share the stage once.  Tragedy brought us together.  The show was Glitterbomb's response to the Pulse shooting.  She was assisting one of her drag sisters, Christina DeLeon, in a touching tribute to the victims.  The circumstances surrounding that night led to more performers than usual backstage and a greater storm of emotions than usual nerves and frantic excitement.  As a result, I never got to talk to her.

However, I noticed her prominence in the Denton drag and burlesque scenes.  It made me think about reaching out to see if she wanted to come over to Dallas for a performance.  I was still planning to ask about her when the Tuesday Tease Team got the news.  Because I didn't know her, I wasn't as hard hit.  Nevertheless I felt great sadness because it hurts to see one's friends in so much pain.  Pulse brought all of us in the LGBTQIAP community together such that a loss in one community is a loss for all of us.

I've been thinking about the missed opportunity, the subsequent what-ifs, and fears of what-next?  I'm still reeling from past tragedies, yet death stops for no one. Let this be a lesson to always embrace your castmates, to get to know performers beyond the stage, and to take a chance on that newbie.  Life is too short for anything else.

 Ivory Dior, know that you are greatly missed and that your memory will be with us always.

A Loss in the Community

I hate that I have to write a completely different post than the one planned with the news that the Dallas burlesque community received yesterday.  2016 has already seen us lose legends, and I've had to deal with some other deaths that affected me personally.  However, one of our own has departed much too soon.

Dr. Q was a long-time performer in Denton and Dallas, having been with the Vixens of Vaudeville and more recently the Lowbrow Lullabies.  I got to work with him and his dance partner Femme Vivre LaRouge when they were in the latter in one of my first stage kittening gigs with Clever Girl Cabaret.  They had such two delightful acts that brought the whimsy of Tex Avery to life.  They had such a great partnership and brought smiles to everyone who saw them.

Photo by The Companion

Our paths would cross again, as I kittened for them a couple more times.  Dr. Q and Femme Vivre La Rouge would go out of our way to make my job a little easier, and they were so kind to newbie like me.  I saw Dr. Q at other shows throughout the years, and both The Companion and I enjoyed his company.  One thing you have to know about The Companion is that he doesn't really think of burlesque as his world so he generally stays quiet.  However, he got along so well with Dr. Q.

We didn't know Dr. Q very well and had not seen him lately.  In fact, a couple days ago, I was wondering when the Lowbrow Lullabies would be reappearing and whether I could cast them in a future show.  Now I think about Femme Vivre LaRouge, Divertida Devotchka, Honey Cocoa Bordeauxx, other dancers who were close to him, and the people in his Muggle life.  It'll be some time before I overcome the shock, but the show must go on.  Rest in peace, Dr. Q; we will miss you.

Photo by The Companion