Three months has passed since I got the horrible news, and I'm still trying to process it. The morning after I had reached out to Black Orchid to get some advice and maybe a coaching session for my first pole competition, I learned that she died in an accident while walking to her pole studio. The timing, plus the fact that I had a close call walking home from work the same day, rattled me. I'm not completely sure I've shaken it off.
Black Orchid and I first crossed paths when I did the San Antonio Burlesque Festival in 2014. Being a newbie, I was overwhelmed, but I think Orchid and I felt a mutual kinship as two Asians performers in Texas. Later I'd learn that she was also queer, nerdy, an activist, a writer, and a fellow bus rider (very uncommon in Texas). We had our differences too, and as a Singaporean of Indian descent, Orchid helped broadened my views on the Asian experience beyond my narrow East Asian perspective.
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Post-show selfie of two winter queens (she portrayed Skaid while I was Elsa) |
Orchid wasn't afraid to speak up about political and social issues, but she also knew how to pick her battles. One of the things I miss the most is her posts about current issues and the frequent "angry possum scream" that appeared in the caption. I often wonder about the things she'd say with what has happened in 2021. There would definitely be a lot of screaming, but I know she'd be rejoicing over an Indian woman as our VP.
I also contemplate what she might say to me as I continue to pursue pole dancing. When I contemplated the idea of entering a Pole Sport Organization competition with doubts about my readiness, she was one of the pole dancers who encouraged me to give it a shot. I regret not reaching out to her sooner—it's one of many regrets— but I know her spirit will be rooting me on, as she has always done in life. One day I'd like to create a tribute act on the pole, but in the meantime, I'll keep learning and practicing.
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at the 2015 San Antonio Burlesque Festival. Photo by JPL PRO |
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