Creating Tony: Debuting Tony, as Sage

"I'm not going to succumb to to just doing normal stuff, and not how I really snowboard, because I think that's wacked.  I kept going and I kept it weird." - Sage Kotsenburg, 2014 Men's Snowboard Slopestyle Olympic gold medalist

Apologies for taking so long to write Part 2 of this series (click here for Part 1).  The past month has been extremely hectic with major happenings in with my lab teching and my striptease.  One of them I would like to share as my first-ever show as co-producer.  Lillith and I are bringing a very special Tuesday Tease, and I will also be debuting a new routine.  I hope you can make it out.

Flyer by Lillith Grey

Okay now back to your regularly scheduled programming.  Once upon a time, I had an idea of a sick burlesque routine where I would strip while skateboarding.  My dream was to incorporate two things I really love: action sports and burlesque.  One problem: I hadn't skateboarded in years.  Although that could be remedied,  I read about Leticia Bufoni's struggles with skating nude for ESPN The Magazine's "The Body Issue" and started to have second thoughts.  Plus I had discarded clothes to worry about.  As I started contemplating drag, I realized that this routine would be perfect for my king alter-ego.

The opportunity to make this reality came much sooner than expected.  Tuesday Tease put out a call for all things involving a ring.  I had submitted an idea for a burlesque routine playing off a telephone ringing and would have left it at that.  However, no one had claimed the Olympic rings, and basically my train of thought was, "Hmm, snowboarding is in the Olympics.  That's kind of like skateboarding.  I can do this."  Granted, it was a lot sooner than expected, but if there was a time to "go big or go home", it was here.

I based the act on Sage Kotsenburg's victory in the first snowboard slopestyle competition in the Olympics.  "Favorite Son" from American Idiot the Musical is not a positive song so I initially did not want to use it.  However, it was so catchy, and it fit with the cocky alter-ego I had created.  Sage may be America's raddest sweetheart, but Tony Fo-Hawk is the person I would be if I didn't have to worry about getting along with others.

 

Having created someone who absolutely did not give a damn saved me from the real world stresses creeping into all aspects of my life.  There were evenings when I just got on my skateboard after work and felt so much better.  I re-learned the basic skills and tried to see if I could spin on the tail and maybe finally figure out how to ollie (even though you don't do those on snowboards).  Tony gave me the resolve to start skating again, and I'm thankful for it.  I think I’m a lot closer to ollie-ing than I ever was when I was a teenager.

Unfortunately the real world worries did creep into my mind on show day.  Having to go first was nerve-wracking even if it was as Hana.  At least that got me into show mode.  However, another nightmarish contact scenario happened right as I was going from female to male.  I went into major panic mode trying to find a missing contact (which equals losing $200 and the ability to perform without glasses), and I am forever appreciative of my fellow performers and the Tease team for helping out.  Thankfully it was just hiding behind my bag.  There were some other hiccups that kept me from my best performance.  I know we all can't be perfect, but I don't like knowing that I could have done better, even if some things were not in my control.

Hana's act for The Ring
Photo by Brandy Barham
(www.brandylynnephotography.com)

Tony's debut as Sage Kotsenburg
Photo by Brandy Barham
(www.brandylynnephotography)

At the end of the evening though, and in Tony's eyes, I had fun and that's all that matters.  I was excited to share this part of me, which sometimes feels more like the real me than any side of Hana Li you see on-stage.  On top of this, freeskiier and Sage's fellow Olympian, Gus Kenworthy, had come out the previous week.  It was the first time an action sports athlete had made such an open declaration, and that contributed to the fire within.  Action sports needed some queerness, and I'd like to think that queerlesque could use some action sports.

 Thank you to Musico Roots for taking video!

Creating Tony: From Tuxedo Mask to James Dean

"Being a good actor isn’t easy. Being a man is even harder. I want to be both before I’m done." - James Dean

Tuesday Tease: StripToons
By Brandy Lynne Photography
(brandylynnephotography.com)

One day, I posted on Facebook about how I probably should be doing drag rather than burlesque, given my penchant for cross-dressing, but then I wouldn't enjoy the fun of striptease.  A couple friends asked why I couldn't do both, and Lillith Grey reminded me that this is why queerlesque exists.  Although Tuxedo Mask was not my first attempt at androgyny, it was the act that got me re-thinkingmy aesthetic.  I never intended the routine to be full-on drag, just convincing enough to portray the character.  Nevertheless, at times, I wish I didn't wear a push-up bra underneath or sparkly ballroom heels so that I could look more like a man in the beginning.  Other times, I wonder how I got to this point when burlesque was supposed to be an expression of my feminine side.

Accepting that goals can change—evident with my shift from wanting to cosplay Sailor Mars to Tuxedo Mask— gave me a new perspective.  Over the summer, I was thinking about a new act and noticed a few shows centered on classic movie stars.  The glamorous screen siren did not interest to me unless it was Anna May Wong, but even then, I didn't feel inspired.  One night, I was listening to the radio and Taylor Swift's "Style" came on.  In the song, she mentioned James Dean, and I got the idea that he would be my Hollywood icon.

All the cards fell into place with the next No Mija Productions/Fuego Danza Company show.  You see, around the time Ricky Martin was huge and everyone wanted to do a Latin-inspired song, the singer/actor Jacob Young had a minor hit with his James Dean tribute, "Life Is Good".  With LilyLeCroix's help, I added some salsa elements into my routine.  I've spent so much time in recent years, focusing on a feminine dance style that trying to salsa like a guy was harder than expected.  I was also able to use the lessons from Miss Indigo Blue's workshop during the San Antonio BurlesqueFestival to better convey angst and anguish.

No Mija Productions:  ¡Ritmo Caliente!
By Mr. Photopix
(www.mrphotopix.com)

Despite the simplicity of his Rebel Without a Cause outfit, assembling the costume took some work.  I accidentally bought the wrong size jacket, but with advice from The Companion and my drag king/fashion designer friend Corvin Rose, I altered it as best as I can.  The breakaway jeans were made by Threads by Mayhem, and after searching for the right red bottoms, I happened upon the perfect thong by Calamity Chang.  Everything fell into place…except the actual performance.

No Mija Productions:  ¡Ritmo Caliente!
By Mr. Photopix
(www.mrphotopix.com)

One of my greatest fears used to be popping a pastie.  I had prudishly drawn a metaphorical line of what I allowed myself to expose at the nipple.  It's silly, I know.  When it happened, I wound up being more frustrated than mortified because it was a completely preventable accident.  Thankfully I had assels so the audience got more booty than usual.

Oh well, you live and learn.  The important part is that I had fun.  I really enjoyed adopting James Dean's attitude and returning to a more masculine dance style.  The early concepts for the act had been more drag in nature, and I wondered what the experience would have been like had I went that direction.  Thus, a seed was planted in my mind…

Upcoming show: Tuesday Tease (as Tony Fo-Hawk)

If you missed Tony Fo-Hawk's debut last month, here's your chance to see him again.  He'll be making an appearance at the next Tuesday Tease, which is feline-themed.  His act will be a little different from what you may expect...

I've also become a member of the Tuesday Tease production team.   Currently I'm focused on the publicity, but I look forward to learning what really goes on behind the scenes and helping the queerlesque community.

Lastly, since I want to thank everyone who bought Ladies of Power mini-prints at the Texas Burlesque Peepshow: Villains and Villainesses show on Halloween.  I wound up stage kittening that night so the table wasn't set up until later.  However, with The Companion's great salesman abilities, we were able to make some money for charity.

My Halloween/stage kitten outfit,
a revamped version of Envy Adams
from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Identity Revisited

"We are rag dolls made out of many ages and skins, changelings who have slept in wood nests or hissed in the uncouth guise of waddling amphibians.  We have played such roles for infinitely longer ages than we have been men.  Our identity is a dream." - Loren Eisley, The Unexpected Universe

Originally I had planned on revisiting my "Identity in Burlesque" post in the context of the racial discussions that have cropped up in burlesque and cosplay, as well as a follow-up to National Coming Out Day.  However, the former has been addressed by many already (please check out those links), and I don't really need to come out again.  Rather I've been turning inward, and so that's what this update will be about.

Repping asexuality and
genderqueerness at the 2014
pride parade

I have been asking myself questions as of late.  Where does Hana Li end and Tony Fo-Hawk begin?  Do I continue developing my O-Ren Ishii act when it doesn't feel "me" yet its message is so important to me?  Can I pull off an asexual pride act?  Does my tagline still work if I'm no longer a lab tech?  Will I have to chance the background of this blog when I stop working with flies?

The last two questions seem frivolous, but they are a part of who I am.  As much as I try to keep my mundane self out of Hana Li, we're still one person at the end of the day.  Through my hamstring injury, which turned out to be a consequence of a lower back problem, I learned that you can't keep your identities completely separate when you share a body.

Likewise I cannot keep my politics apart from my art because my body is political on many levels.  It's just like how burlesque (in its current form) is always sexual.  I've seen that discussion pop up, and I debate whether I should jump in with my own two cents as a grey-asexual.  Just because the art is sexual doesn't mean that the performer is.  I know some of you may struggle with reconciling that, but know that I still struggle with being viewed sexually.

O-Ren Ishii's Chinese side comes out at
A Plumb Askew Revue: Popcorn and Pasties.
By Miracle Bennet
HAMU by Vivienne Vermuth

Further complicating that is how my race often gets sexualized.  I want to be more political in terms of presenting myself as an Asian woman, and that's partly why I still feel dissatisfied with my O-Ren Ishii act.  It's about one's Asian and American identity, and I don't think that's 100% clear.   I also worry about being appropriative as I am not Japanese.  Lastly, the act doesn't feel like it fits with the identity I have developed as Hana Li.

Maybe my inner O-Ren is an aspect of myself I need to further explore, but that brings me to the first question I had asked.  Burlesque was supposed to be a way for me to express my feminine side.  However, I have been unable to ignore my masculine side.  I get my inspiration from male characters, and I'm more a pants type of gal than a glove-and-gown type.  If you've been following my career thus far, you may have noticed that I am getting more androgynous.  That's who I really am inside, and I've figured out how to incorporate my classic training to suit that aesthetic.  I never intended to do drag, but that was inevitable with the way I have been progressing.  Tony can do things that don't work well with Hana.

My next couple of posts are going to return to recapping my performances from the last few months.  Instead of going chronologically though,  I'm going to trace how I've learned to embrace my genderqueerness and how Tony Fo-Hawk came to be.  I’m excited to have you along for the ride.

Tony Fo-Hawk
By Tanya Forno

Upcoming shows and AnimeFest photos

As I mentioned in my previous post, Tony Fo-Hawk is making his debut at this week's Tuesday Tease.  I'll also be performing a new act so come on down to Sue Ellen's with your dollars.  Doors are at 8 PM.

You'll also want to arrive at 8 PM on Saturday for the Texas Burlesque Peepshow's Villains and Villainesses show, featuring the Evil Queen of Burlesque competition.  I won't be performing this year, but I will be selling Ladies of Power mini-prints.  In the spirit of the show, there will be a 50% off discount on villains prints.  Click here for tickets.

I've realized that I never got around to sharing pictures of my fem!Naked Snake cosplay at AnimeFest.  Here's one from my solo shoot with Axela Media.  He did an amazing and you can see all the cool photos on my Facebook page.



I also joined my fellow Metal Gear Solid cosplayers for a group photoshoot.  Yohan Ko took a picture of us for Central Track (the first time I've been featured in a publication for cosplay), and Michael Nguyen got this fun shot:



Although cosplay is not my primary focus at all, I do enjoy fun opportunities like these.  I also want to thank everyone who attended the Ladies of Power and Nerdlesque panels. Your attendance means a lot to me and my fellow panelists.  The con season is basically over for me, but you'll see me again in the spring.

Introducing... Tony Fo-Hawk

"While technically it would not be a clone at that point, it would be for all intents and purposes, a genetic twin. The mutant DNA would still be active, and the abilities you're looking for would still manifest as in the original." - Dr. Sarah Kinney, X23 Vol. 1

I interrupt my planned posts with a question and a story.  Have you ever thought that your life would more manageable if you only had a clone? Well, I tried (bet you didn't know that I'm actually a mad scientist).  It didn't quite work.

Instead of another Hana Li, my experiment produced Tony Fo-Hawk.

I wanted to call him Lee Hua (a spin-off on my name), but he's got a mind of his own.  He doesn't do the blogging or social media.  He's into action sports but not cosplay, and now he wants to try his hand at dancing or at least performing.  He's almost always got a case of helmet hair, and he's not adverse to eyeliner.

Sometimes I can get him to shave, and that's when he starts looking like my twin, which he does not enjoy.  In exchange for helping promote him, he lends a hand here and there.  You can catch his debut at Tuesday Tease on October 27.

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog posts by Hana Li (I still gotta recap a couple more shots).  Many thanks to Tanya Forno for the photos.


Disclaimer: No actual science went into the creation of Tony Fo-Hawk.  Just some comic book and action sports inspiration, along with a strong desire to do drag.

Magic at the Peepshow and Striptease Charm School

"Now you're looking for the secret…but you won't find it because you're not really looking.  You don't really want to know the secret… you want to be fooled." - Harry Cutter, The Prestige

Since I was a little girl, I was a huge fan of magic.  I watched almost every episode of The World's Greatest Magic and Breaking the Magician's Code, and I wanted to see Siegfried and Roy when my family went to Vegas.  I was also into fantasy and, in my later years, witchcraft.  See where I’m going with this?  When Texas Burlesque Peepshow announced that they were going to do a magic-themed show, "I Put a Spell on You", I was only thinking of illusions.  Then, the producers clarified that it encompassed all definitions of magic, and I realized that hey, I have an act from a magical girl anime.  (Tuxedo Mask has powers too, but the original anime doesn't make it very obvious.)

Backstage shenanigans
at the Peepshow
Photo from Black Mariah

In my post about the act's debut, I forgot to give proper credit to Black Mariah for making the tuxedo pants so I'm doing it now.  They're perfect.  The Companion also gets props for helping alter the cape.

It didn't take long for me to get ready even with the attempt at styling my hair a bit differently.  As a result, I was able to peek at some of the other routines.  I really enjoyed seeing all the forms of magic and magical characters, and I hoped that at least some people would make the connection with mine.  I heard a laugh when I decided to wear the signature mask for curtain call so someone must've gotten it.  It was a fun show and an even more fun after-party (Casidy gets mad props for being an amazing host).

My hamstring had not completely healed like I thought it would by the time Peepshow rolled around (one month after the injury).  I had booked a couple more shows and vowed to stick to them unless the doctor said otherwise.  After discovering that the injury was just a pulled muscle, she okayed the dancing.  Since pushing myself landed me in this predicament, I wound up taking a break of all dance classes except Ginger Valentine's Burlesque Charm School.

Ginger was my first burlesque teacher (three and a half years ago!), and I had wanted to do her Charm School since she started it back up again.  I hadn't been able to until August so I wasn't going to miss the opportunity.  Class didn't just involve dancing, which probably made it more manageable.  However, I didn't do myself any favors by electing to work on a routine that required some chair and floor work.

A peek at my notes from Charm School

The routine was one I had previously worked on so the costume was mostly done.  I didn't really like the initial version, and it seemed producers didn't either.  It was the one that I needed the most help even if it wasn't the most urgent one to complete.  Some people might think that Charm School is specifically for classic burlesque or dancers at a certain level, but Ginger is really good about tailoring the class to fit everyone's needs.  Her advice is helpful regardless of your style or goals, as are the dance moves you learn.  I highly recommend Charm School for anyone who is ready to take their burlesque to the next level (though Ginger likes to point out that burlesque really has no levels).  While the act is not yet complete, it's become so much better and I can't wait to get a little free time to finish it up.

Before that, however, I have one more performance for the month.  If you missed Tuxedo Mask at the Texas Burlesque Peepshow, you can catch him at Tuesday Tease.