Three months has passed since I got the horrible news, and I'm still
trying to process it. The morning after
I had reached out to Black Orchid to get some advice and maybe a coaching
session for my first pole competition, I learned that she died in an accident
while walking to her pole studio. The
timing, plus the fact that I had a close call walking home from work the same
day, rattled me. I'm not completely sure
I've shaken it off.
Black Orchid and I first crossed paths when I did the San
Antonio Burlesque Festival in 2014.
Being a newbie, I was overwhelmed, but I think Orchid and I felt a
mutual kinship as two Asians performers in Texas. Later I'd learn that she was also queer, nerdy,
an activist, a writer, and a fellow bus rider (very uncommon in Texas). We had our differences too, and as a
Singaporean of Indian descent, Orchid helped broadened my views on the Asian
experience beyond my narrow East Asian perspective.
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Post-show selfie of two winter queens
(she portrayed Skaid while I was Elsa)
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After crossing paths through the years at SABF and the Texas
Queerlesque Festival, we shared the stage at the end of 2019 in Viva Dallas
Burlesque's Festivus Follies. We were in
different dressing rooms, but we made sure to take a selfie, something that I
had been trying to do more often. I
didn't get a good pic on my phone, but she did on hers and I'm grateful that we
had the moment together and that I did traverse to the other side of the stage
to talk to her. I'm also grateful that
social media kept us in touch.
Orchid wasn't afraid to speak up about political and social
issues, but she also knew how to pick her battles. One of the things I miss the most is her
posts about current issues and the frequent "angry possum scream"
that appeared in the caption. I often
wonder about the things she'd say with what has happened in 2021. There would definitely be a lot of screaming,
but I know she'd be rejoicing over an Indian woman as our VP.
I also contemplate what she might say to me as I continue to
pursue pole dancing. When I contemplated
the idea of entering a Pole Sport Organization competition with doubts about my
readiness, she was one of the pole dancers who encouraged me to give it a
shot. I regret not reaching out to her
sooner—it's one of many regrets— but I know her spirit will be rooting me on,
as she has always done in life. One day
I'd like to create a tribute act on the pole, but in the meantime, I'll keep
learning and practicing.
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Black Orchid won Most Original
at the 2015 San Antonio Burlesque Festival.
Photo by JPL PRO
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One of the last performances of Black Orchid's I saw was a virtual
nerdlesque show that paid homage to Supernatural. She portrayed Billie, a grim reaper, and now
that number lingers in my mind. Death is
forever around us, and who knows when our time will come so we have to do as
much as we can. That's what Orchid did,
and she inspired so many of us. Now it's
up to us to make sure the seeds of art and activism she sowed will grow and
flourish.
