Making a Man Out of Myself

I have a lot of catching up to do.  Since the beginning of March, I've been preoccupied with shows, conventions, lab teching, and a nasty injury.   I'm mostly healed, but I still can't type with two fingers so blogging has been very low on my list priorities.  However, now that I have some down time, I decided that it was time to start catching up here.

By Robert Hold
www.roberthold.com

Remember when I said that I was going to focus on refining old routines rather than work on new ones?  Well, that plan went out the door pretty quickly.  Sometimes inspiration and opportunity come together in a perfect storm that you can't escape.  It's what ­­­happened with my "I'll Make a Man Out of You" act for Panty Raid's Bare Necessities show.

I had gotten the idea­ a few months ago for another show.  Although I'd never really wanted to do Disney burlesque, the song was too catchy to resist.  However, the popularity meant that I really had to think this routine out.  It sat in the back of my mind until I saw that Panty Raid was looking for Disney acts.  I'd been wanting to return to Sue Ellen's so the timing was perfect.

Sort of.  Because I wanted to pay tribute to the training scene, I needed to brush up on both my drag and martial arts skills.  Although I had done drag only once, I wasn't too unfamiliar with adopting a masculine persona due to my crossplay background.  However, this time I wasn't portraying a youthful pretty boy—I needed to be a man.  Thank goodness for on-line tutorials. 

By Robert Hold
www.roberthold.com

As for the martial arts, my younger brother was a black belt in taekwondo so I used to watch and mimic his practicing.  I joined him for camp one summer and took a semester of it in college.  Once you learn those moves, they don't go away.  Unfortunately, taekwondo didn't meld with dance so I studied kung-fu and tai chi videos.  Now I wouldn't recommend doing this to seriously learn martial arts, but it worked well for creating the illusion of a martial artist.  While I was practicing, I couldn't help but feel a desire to take classes.  It was interesting to see how my attitudes has changed since as a kid, I was "too busy" to join my brother in classes and thought my grandpa's tai chi was weird and boring.  I definitely have a new-found appreciation. 

The show changed my mind about Disney burlesque.  I'd always had an irrational fear of corrupting childhood memories, but now I know that burlesque just created new ones.  I gained a new fan with my martial skills so I was happy that the training paid off. 

Doing this act gave me insight on who Hana Li was as a performer.  It felt so natural to be in drag at first, and I enjoyed presenting dichotomies of masculine and feminine, serious and silly.  Panty Raid was the perfect place for me to explore this, and I'm thankful for that opportunity.

I also acquired a new sense of creativity from combining the two different forms of movement.  While I might not have been able to do a flying front kick stocking peel (things in your head don't always translate into real life once you consider skill level and physics), I came up with some new tricks that I hope to bring into other acts.  And I did learn a flying front kick, which is a great way to keep the audience members alert.

Check out some highlights by Kevin Huckabee:

All-con cosplay and upcoming show

It's been a busy month, and I've got some full-length posts to type up.  However, I'm going to tease a bit with a photo of one of my All-con cosplays by the wonderful folks of Neither Noir.

Big Boss - Metal Gear Solid 3

I also want to talk about an upcoming production, Texas Burlesque Peepshow's Oh Rocky.  Like last year, I will be busting out my fishnets and picking up after the fabulous performers.  The show is tomorrow so get your tickets RIGHT NOW.

Dallas Burlesque Festival '15

Things have gotten busy again.  Even though I swore off new routines, inspiration and opportunity came together to create a perfect storm.  I couldn't pass off the opportunity to perform in Panty Raid's Disney-themed show this Friday, Bare Necessities.  Please come out if you're in the neighborhood.

Now, let's travel back to a couple weeks ago when I was just coming off a pulled back muscle and eager to help out at the Dallas Burlesque Festival.  Since lab work has gotten hectic as of late, I decided not to take Friday off and instead enjoyed the second show as an audience member.  I was sad to have missed the first one, but the day job comes first.

Even though Dallas Burlesque Alliance Showcase contained a lot of familiar faces, there were several acts I had never seen before.  I felt really lucky to be in a city full of talented performers, and it made me want to work harder so that I could represent Dallas well too.  I was stoked for my fellow Dallas School of Burlesque CATS for not only opening the show, but also going home with the Class Act award.  Unfortunately I couldn't stay long to party since The Companion had come after work to pick me up.

Saturday morning, I got up early to go to the Ruby Room for Ginger Valentine's workshop.  It was fun to learn a new routine for Valentine's Day even if I couldn't show it off until a later date.  I still had some time to chill at home so I watched a film about freeskiiers Sarah Burke and Rory Bush.  As with all things action sports, it inspired me to take on any challenges thrown at me.  It was probably a good thing that I had some adrenaline pumping since we pick-ups artists had some heavy lifting to do. 

The show went really smoothly, much of that thanks to great camaraderie with my fellow kittens and the stage manager Jess for being on top of everything.  She was amazing.  I also have to give a shout-out to May May and Mr. Mariah for providing some extra muscle for Elle Dorado's "ice".  Never did I think I would be putting together a synthetic figure skating rink.  Having been a fan of figure skating since I was a little girl, I was stoked to see her live.

There were so many amazing acts.  I liked seeing the different dance and performance styles, ranging from Shelbelle Shamrock's breakdancing to Grace Gotham's samba to Angi B. Lovely and Stormy Gayle's circus arts.  Kitten N' Lou had me silently cracking up.  I also had the honor of helping escort the legendary Tammi True on-stage for her to wow the crowd. My favorite moment was not a performance, however, was Penny Ruffles' surprise proposal.  Those of us backstage didn't get to see it, but we all got excited when El Vez said, "Little black box".  Backstage was overflowing with happy emotions.  Many congratulations to Penny and her man!

Saturday Showcase Pick-Up Artists:
Helena Isis, me, Classi Chassi, and Penny Ruffles

The after-party featured a lot of cool tunes from Trigger Mortis, and I couldn't help but join in on the dancing for a bit.  I was getting tired though so after chatting for a bit, I headed home.  I was still worn out on Sunday, and due to having lots of errands, I wound up missing the guest workshops.  Hopefully there will be another chance to take them.  Another excellent Dallas Burlesque Festival was in the bag, and I felt reinvigorated by all the inspiring performances.

Dusting Myself Off

Things that suck: rejection, injury, failed experiments, freezing your butt off, wasting money, personal drama.  I've had to deal with all of these in the past month, and it got me really down.  Now I'm not going into details about every little thing, but I did want to write about the epiphanies that came from this low point.  First, I'm going to recommend Trixie Little's blog post about rejection and the artistic process.  Really you could just read her post, but I want to bring in my newbie perspective.

I was particularly bummed by a recent double whammy of rejection.  The Companion and I had spent our Christmas Eve putting the final touches on costumes, and I really wanted to perform more.  You see, the anniversary of my solo debut was fast approaching.  Its success had one downside: the resulting high expectations.  I developed an anxiety over losing momentum and started to question my ability to put together a successful burlesque routine on my own.

I thought this photo from Dallas Comic Con:
Fan Days with the Mandalorian Mercs
fit the mood of this post pretty well. 

Once I got over my disappointment and fears, I thought about what could be improved.  Just as the time an unpleasant costuming experience made me realize that I should put less emphasis on cosplay, the obstacles would give way to an epiphany.  I knew that both routines needed more work, but more than that, I realized that I needed to slow the heck down.

"Quantity over quality" seems like an easy-to-follow adage for burlesque.  However, when ideas and themed shows pop up all of the place, the temptation to create a new act before finishing the one you're working on can be difficult to resist.  Some performers can churn out routines quickly, but I'm not one.  Moreover, as a mostly nerdlesque dancer, I can easily fall into the trap of creating an act that lacks versatility (and that is unacceptable for my budget).  My epiphany taught me that in order to slow down, I had to stop myself from chasing the new ideas and focus on improving what I have.  The right show will come; I just need to be ready and the best that I can be.

There was one exception I was willing to make.  There was an upcoming audition that I could not resist, and I promised myself that I would keep it light and fun (okay there was some social commentary, but that's my version of fun).  Then I hurt my back.  After further aggravating my injury at work, I decided to halt all dancing, be it class, rehearsal, or choreographing.  Perhaps this was a sign that I shouldn't try to cheat on my new resolution.

Both the rejections and the injury revealed something else: burlesque is not my life.  What helped me get over the sting of rejection and all the other bad things going on was watching the Winter X Games.  I had been focusing a lot on burlesque the past year, and while it's been fun, I realized that I neglected two of my greatest passions—writing and action sports— and friends who are not connected to the scene.  Taking a break meant that I could devote time to other things and not be burned out from burlesque.

Now I'm recharged and ready to work my butt off in improving the acts I started last year.  I've just returned to dancing and will stage kittening at the Dallas Burlesque Festival on Saturday (and showing my support Friday night).

When you go big, you fall hard.  But just like my favorite athletes, I learned to get up, dust myself off, and give it another go.

Firsts and Lasts at the Lakewood

Phew, it's been a hectic couple of months.  I spent much of November and December working on improving one routine and creating another for two auditions.  On top of that, I was cast in Viva Dallas Burlesque's DC vs. Marvel show.

It was the last live performance (that we know of) at the Lakewood Theater, which had changed owners.  I had attempted to put together a new routine for that show early in the fall, but I didn't have much of a costume at all.  Maybe next time…  The producers, however, loved "Black Glasses", and thus I got the opportunity to step foot on the Lakewood stage.

Allan Hayslip Photography
www.alanhayslipphoto.com

The first time I was in the theater was in February 2012.  Back then, I had not even started burlesque classes and was just nurturing a love for watching it.  I went to that Viva show, Gadgets and Gobstoppers, because my friend's band, Marquis of Vaudeville, was performing.  Despite being a newbie, I was inspired by all the performers I saw, but I never expected to be on the same stage.

A year of doing "Black Glasses" had cemented the routine in my mind so I focused on the auditions until they were filmed.  I am thankful to have opted out of some holiday festivities so that I could improve on the routine (which will always be a work on progress).  However, even if my mind was sharp from repetition, the time gap and holiday stress left me a little out of shape.  Lesson learned: don't let school breaks and costuming projects keep me from working on my strength and flexibility.  I also discovered that I probably shouldn't go to the chiropractor the same day of a performance, particularly when I'm still new to the procedure.

I tried to stretch as much as I could backstage—in between chatting with the dancers.  I enjoyed working with Janie Slash again, meeting Shan de Leers, and having all sorts of great conversations with the entire cast.  It alternated between silly nerding out and discussing serious issues like body positivity and the need for more diversity.  I really admired Shan de Leers for challenging the norm when it comes to body hair.  You know what though?  She was so awesome on-stage that most people probably did not notice.  She made me want to work harder on my dancing and my confidence.

All of my castmates made me want to improve on my fitness and skills.  I enjoyed seeing everyone's unique take on a superhero, and the crowd did too.  I couldn't have asked for more enthusiasm.  

By Ben Britt

Later in the evening, I talked to two ladies from Women Who Write Comics about my inspiration.  I was stoked that they recognized that it was a challenge to the concept of the "fake geek girl" (who can't be both nerdy and sexy), as well as a parody of some sexist tropes.  Yay for all the feminism!

For curtain call, I decided to wear my Death cosplay.  It was my personal compromise with the DC vs. Marvel showdown since I read Amazing Spiderman on-stage.  All the past Viva Dallas Burlesque performers in crowd joined us for a toast.  Even though this was my first time performing, I felt the same pride and joy at them moving on and sadness at the end of an era.  I wish Shoshana the best on working towards a new chapter, and I hope I can be a part of it.

By The Naked Lens
nakedlens.org

2nd Annual Vintage Life Expo

This Saturday, I will be at the Vintage Life Expo helping promote Ladies of Power.  I'm working on a new cosplay for the event.  It runs from 11 AM to 5 PM with Singapore Slingers headlining and costs nothing.  Click here for more info.

Don't forget to stop by the paper moon photo booth by Bright Bytes Studio.  This is a picture The Companion and I got with them last year.

2014 photoshoots and recap

I'll get to making a proper post after my Viva performance on Friday (click for tickets—they're almost sold out!).  Instead I'll share links to the photo recap I did on Tumblr: January-June and June-December.  I hope you check them out.

As a bonus for following this blog, here are some more photos from the shoots that I did.  I already shared some from All-con with Neither Noir and a preview of the Ladies of Power cosplay calendar by shot HendrixXHunter Photography, but here are the shoots I didn't get to cover in my blog.

In February, I met Hell or High Water Photography at Sci-Fi Expo, and she took pictures of my Sailor Mars cosplay:

Then in October, I did a burlesque shoot with Tanya Forno (who also did the make-up):

Finally, Charles Nguyen took some promo images for the new troupe I'm a part of, the Dallas School of Burlesque Cats.  Hair and make-up was by May May.